i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
