From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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