Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
