Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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