i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
