we made out on top of his cat.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
