Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
