In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
