So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
How external is "for external use only"?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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