we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
