I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
