i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just pee around me
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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