A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
