I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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