Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
