so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
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