I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
