i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
