Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
