glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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