The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
