she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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