please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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