Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
