That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
MIDGETS
????
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
