Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
