Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
