I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
