I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
