you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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