it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
