his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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