if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
