I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
