so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
