she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize