Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
