Do you still have your period?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
