dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
