if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
