remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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