Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
