Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
