I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
