So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
