Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
