my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
