I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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