some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
