it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
